Skip to main content

My Cultural Void

So today I went to my first BAATN therapists gathering.

What I don't ever mention or point out is I am mixed race, my father is Nigerian and my mother Caucasian.

I live in a very non diverse area of the country and my father returned to Nigeria when I was 4, I haven't seen him since but have spoken on numerous occasions.
Not only did I go without a father figure until my mother met my step father but it also left a cultural void that I've now learnt I can't ignore.
He thought it inappropriate that I had a job where I ran a pub and so I have never broached the subject of sexuality with him.

It has never really bothered me before but what did was the constant nagging feeling that I did really fit anywhere.

                          "I always felt too black to be white and too white to be black"

It wasn't until I listened to people who have have lived with the challenges that it brought to their lives that I realised my own struggles.

I do a lot of parts therapy and without realising I had been neglecting what should have been an integral part of myself.

Over the years I have stopped straightening my hair and let the mane free, I dye it a more natural colour now and wear my fro with pride.

I am mixed race for a reason and embracing it I can see that like my sexuality I can take advantage of it to assist and educate others.

In conclusion I should not be scared of my cultural heritage and in fact I should embrace it. It is all part of that learning curve to find me and who I am and denying my cultural heritage has only served to limit my growth further.

Being different in more than one way is pretty cool and I fancy being sub-zero.

Z x

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Worlds Aid Day 2018 Self Test

Founded in 1988, World AIDS Day is on the 1st December every year.  It gives people around the world the opportunity to unite in the fight against HIV.  Through community events and in private we gather to show support for people currently living with HIV, while commemorating those no longer with us having lost the fight to an AIDS-related illness.  An estimated 36.7 million people globally are affected by the virus.  In the 34 years since the virus was first identified more than 35 million people have died of HIV or AIDS, making it one of the most destructive pandemics in history.  The theme this year is "Know your status"  So I thought I should know my own.  I ordered a test online from here , there was just a few questions and it was on its way to me.  When it arrived I questioned why was I even doing this... I've always been careful with my sexual partners Don't forget there could be up to...

Joss Whedon, Feminist Icon or just human?

I am a bit on the longer side in the tooth of mature to have been a massive Buffy fan but I did watch it and well always having had a bit of a crush on Anthony Head, why wouldn't I tune in. The show got huge ratings but also some began to consider Joss Whedon as a bit of feminist hero not only because of his portrayal of a strong female lead but kinda just because he said so..... Well, his now ex-wife (couldn't imagine a present one) has gone to town on him, exposing his inappropriate emotional and physical relationships with others throughout their 16 yr marriage. Is a he therefore a bit of douchebag? deffo. How much responsibility do those who were involved with the infidelity take on? They would have known he was married and do you think every single one of them was a budding easily lead naive actress? The casting couch, the expectation that someone trying to get ahead would sleep with someone more powerful than them to gain the advantage over those not willing ...

Coming Out Once a year would be nice

So happy coming out day... If its happy for you... and seriously why would there even be a day. Did the planets align ever soo nicely or some libido based act occur in the cosmos?? Surely the largest question should be do you really have to come out at all, isn't it your business to do whatever you feel fit. I guess I would like to see some research figures for the proportion of people that come out today compared with any other day of the year. All day I have seen arguments for and against coming out day and I'm sure there would be a split between readers of this to. Does it therefore make it wrong to come out another day? Of course not, do as you please. But just do what you want to. Never be forced to do anything. Over the last few weeks I have been a busy bunny promoting Bi Visibility Day which included standing on a town hall roof waving a flag around, along with an early morning radio interview. (I keep meaning to download this for posterity). I've ...