Skip to main content

Coming Out Once a year would be nice


So happy coming out day...
If its happy for you...
and seriously why would there even be a day.
Did the planets align ever soo nicely or some libido based act occur in the cosmos??

Surely the largest question should be do you really have to come out at all, isn't it your business to do whatever you feel fit.

I guess I would like to see some research figures for the proportion of people that come out today compared with any other day of the year.

All day I have seen arguments for and against coming out day and I'm sure there would be a split between readers of this to.

Does it therefore make it wrong to come out another day?
Of course not, do as you please.
But just do what you want to.
Never be forced to do anything.

Over the last few weeks I have been a busy bunny promoting Bi Visibility Day which included standing on a town hall roof waving a flag around, along with an early morning radio interview. (I keep meaning to download this for posterity).

I've talked at a lovely event called Polyday in London, met some fantastic new friends and ended up starting a new Facebook group called Polyamoury BAME UK. If you know anyone this group might help please pass it on.

Then yesterday an event in Witney publicising World Mental Health Day. A talk about Hypno-Psychotherapy and Mental Health of LGBTQIA+ communities.

Needless to say a bit of back to normal client work was much needed today.

Just before I had a client I got a message from a friend saying it was coming out day and it was an excellent opportunity to publicise a charity I am trustee of, given I had been reading less than positive reports about the event as a whole I had to really consider it.

My client was running a bit late so I had time to tweet about the day from my phone, just saying our support charity was available this evening and our contact details. I used a coming out day meme on a rainbow background for effect as photos get more social media engagement than just writing.

My involvement in Bi Visibility Day really hammered home the message about poorer mental health amongst us and could it be because we aren't that visible and even suffer internal discrimination
But the worst part is we come out everyday to new people.

Yes I'm married....Yes I'm still Bi....No I'm not greedy

Why do people assume just because you presently reside inside the consigns of a heteronormative relationship that your Bi-ness fades away and you will end up heterosexual?
Its not like a temporary tattoo...

Bull and Shit would be my answer.

I firmly believe in the fluidity of sexuality but for me wherever I am, whoever I'm with, I am still Bi.

So if someone comes out to you, don't make them come out 365 times this year...

Its bloody boring.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Maybe Rodin got it wrong

The kiss is a beautiful enchanting sculpture, but did you know they aren't even actually kissing.  The true story is tragic as is most true love stories of course. We have all been there, the first time for me it was a teachers son in the primary school toilets. That first fumbling, where do you put your teeth, banging noses and in some cases glasses when you both go the same direction.  But as we age we forget the importance of 'The Kiss', whether the familiar delicate touch of a faithful lover to the passionate first one on the voyage of discovery.  You can tell so much about a person from the way they kiss (if they do at all), the impersonal double air (i don't want to actually touch you kiss), the lingering sweetness or the shoved against the wall (I'm almost eating you kiss).  Maybe you are a peck, tongues, no tongues, lots of lips or none at all.  Its all in our individual style, like how we wear hair or clothes. Some peoples style we like and s...

Over inflated feeling of self importance...

So next June you will find me, amongst other places presenting at the NCHP conference. Details here.... Conference 2018 I'm talking about therapists being aware of the terminologies used in the GRSD/LGBTQIA+/Alternative Sexualities community to prevent therapeutic barriers. Not only is this a completely ridiculously huge and unfathomable honour to be amongst such esteemed company but it also caused me to stumble a little at a very early moment. I got asked to write my bio, that elevator speech, that Hiya I'm so an so aren't I bloody FAB-U-LOUS Darliiiinnngggg bit for the website. Well that was where I stumbled..... Faced with an empty page, words did not tumble from my fingers as there are now but writers block firmly took up residence inside my head, wrist, hands and eyes. While talking to a friend about it I realised that actually I know a bit about stuff, nope I haven't been a therapist since year dot and I don't have quite such an impressive resum...

A blog about Blogging....why not!

I really should blog more! So today while rearranging my email signature (priorities, right) I noticed that in fact although I loved to write, I hadn't been writing my blog for quite sometime. Last weekend I went to the nchp conference in London, not only is it so heartwarming to be in a room of people who give their minds and lives over to assist in others journeys but also that it always brings me back to my own path and what I love. I had recently given a talk on sexuality to a local public school and I loved how when the words tumbled from my mouth they all made not only sense to me but those listening. It was amazing to get such sophisticated questions from some fairly young students who were soo eager to lean about how vast the sexual landscape is. I have been working on my own idea of sexual landscape to incorporate how fluid and ever changing your sexuality can be over time and in my own personal way how I have gone from heterosexuality to Bisexuality via Pansexual...