Therapeutically Polyam

So happy coming out day... If its happy for you... and seriously why would there even be a day. Did the planets align ever soo nicely or some libido based act occur in the cosmos?? Surely the largest question should be do you really have to come out at all, isn't it your business to do whatever you feel fit. I guess I would like to see some research figures for the proportion of people that come out today compared with any other day of the year. All day I have seen arguments for and against coming out day and I'm sure there would be a split between readers of this to. Does it therefore make it wrong to come out another day? Of course not, do as you please. But just do what you want to. Never be forced to do anything. Over the last few weeks I have been a busy bunny promoting Bi Visibility Day which included standing on a town hall roof waving a flag around, along with an early morning radio interview. (I keep meaning to download this for posterity). I've ...

So today I went to my first BAATN therapists gathering. What I don't ever mention or point out is I am mixed race, my father is Nigerian and my mother Caucasian. I live in a very non diverse area of the country and my father returned to Nigeria when I was 4, I haven't seen him since but have spoken on numerous occasions. Not only did I go without a father figure until my mother met my step father but it also left a cultural void that I've now learnt I can't ignore. He thought it inappropriate that I had a job where I ran a pub and so I have never broached the subject of sexuality with him. It has never really bothered me before but what did was the constant nagging feeling that I did really fit anywhere.                           "I always felt too black to be white and too white to be black" It wasn't until I listened to people who have have lived with the challenges that it brought to their lives that I reali...

I really should blog more! So today while rearranging my email signature (priorities, right) I noticed that in fact although I loved to write, I hadn't been writing my blog for quite sometime. Last weekend I went to the nchp conference in London, not only is it so heartwarming to be in a room of people who give their minds and lives over to assist in others journeys but also that it always brings me back to my own path and what I love. I had recently given a talk on sexuality to a local public school and I loved how when the words tumbled from my mouth they all made not only sense to me but those listening. It was amazing to get such sophisticated questions from some fairly young students who were soo eager to lean about how vast the sexual landscape is. I have been working on my own idea of sexual landscape to incorporate how fluid and ever changing your sexuality can be over time and in my own personal way how I have gone from heterosexuality to Bisexuality via Pansexual...

What is it with all the letters?! It can be a minefield with all the acronyms and it doesn't look like its gonna get simpler anytime soon.  So lets begin when we had the gay pride movement (it was only legalised in 1967) although people have always been gay but they just did it in secret or got prosecuted for it. Google Alan Turing.  This was to promote equal rights for all genders and sexualities (some would argue we are no where near to that even today).  Lesbian, women (whether genetic or not) who are attracted exclusively to other women (whether genetic or not). Gay used to mean happy and I like to think it still does, being out and proud should be a gay persons right.  Transgender    including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women) People have always cross dressed, this isn't the same as transgender...confusing eh. Queer had been reclaimed by the community just like othe...

So through my work with Oxford Friend I volunteered to do a video for the Oxford City Council about why I love volunteering! Weeks of speculation and suspense will finally be over as tomorrow is the beginning of volunteering week..... I haven't seen the video yet I have a feeling I'm not going to like it or how I look or for that matter how i sound either. Videos wil be posted at 10am and 6pm every day this week and I don't find out until tomorrow which slot my video has been given for release. If by the way you fancy a bit of volunteering yourself then try here! Let’s celebrate  #Oxfordvolunteers  for International Volunteer Day  #IVD2016  Give them a hand - consider volunteering!  https://www.oxford.gov.uk/volunteer