Therapeutically Polyam

No work of televisual genius and I'm sure there are some who cry for it to be immediately banned.  Not only did I notice the curious absence of pubic hair, did no one mention that pubic hair is there for a reason and even if you leave a landing strip it helps to maintain and promote the natural flora and fauna of your vagina. Not having tattoos or piercings is now a rarity but its a beautiful thing just to see other bodies, isnt it odd that we hardly ever see others without the facade of clothing. We are constantly force fed unhealthy images of perfect, hairless, perky female stereotypes when if you watch this you actually see that we are all different but still stunning all in our own way.  I know many people who go to so called 'slimming clubs', there are loads about and I guess my official (has she swallowed a dictionary) take on it would be... "The technical difficulty for people going to slimming clubs is it doesn't change attitudes to food and any under...

So today I went to my first BAATN therapists gathering. What I don't ever mention or point out is I am mixed race, my father is Nigerian and my mother Caucasian. I live in a very non diverse area of the country and my father returned to Nigeria when I was 4, I haven't seen him since but have spoken on numerous occasions. Not only did I go without a father figure until my mother met my step father but it also left a cultural void that I've now learnt I can't ignore. He thought it inappropriate that I had a job where I ran a pub and so I have never broached the subject of sexuality with him. It has never really bothered me before but what did was the constant nagging feeling that I did really fit anywhere.                           "I always felt too black to be white and too white to be black" It wasn't until I listened to people who have have lived with the challenges that it brought to their lives that I reali...

I really should blog more! So today while rearranging my email signature (priorities, right) I noticed that in fact although I loved to write, I hadn't been writing my blog for quite sometime. Last weekend I went to the nchp conference in London, not only is it so heartwarming to be in a room of people who give their minds and lives over to assist in others journeys but also that it always brings me back to my own path and what I love. I had recently given a talk on sexuality to a local public school and I loved how when the words tumbled from my mouth they all made not only sense to me but those listening. It was amazing to get such sophisticated questions from some fairly young students who were soo eager to lean about how vast the sexual landscape is. I have been working on my own idea of sexual landscape to incorporate how fluid and ever changing your sexuality can be over time and in my own personal way how I have gone from heterosexuality to Bisexuality via Pansexual...

The kiss is a beautiful enchanting sculpture, but did you know they aren't even actually kissing.  The true story is tragic as is most true love stories of course. We have all been there, the first time for me it was a teachers son in the primary school toilets. That first fumbling, where do you put your teeth, banging noses and in some cases glasses when you both go the same direction.  But as we age we forget the importance of 'The Kiss', whether the familiar delicate touch of a faithful lover to the passionate first one on the voyage of discovery.  You can tell so much about a person from the way they kiss (if they do at all), the impersonal double air (i don't want to actually touch you kiss), the lingering sweetness or the shoved against the wall (I'm almost eating you kiss).  Maybe you are a peck, tongues, no tongues, lots of lips or none at all.  Its all in our individual style, like how we wear hair or clothes. Some peoples style we like and s...

What is it with all the letters?! It can be a minefield with all the acronyms and it doesn't look like its gonna get simpler anytime soon.  So lets begin when we had the gay pride movement (it was only legalised in 1967) although people have always been gay but they just did it in secret or got prosecuted for it. Google Alan Turing.  This was to promote equal rights for all genders and sexualities (some would argue we are no where near to that even today).  Lesbian, women (whether genetic or not) who are attracted exclusively to other women (whether genetic or not). Gay used to mean happy and I like to think it still does, being out and proud should be a gay persons right.  Transgender    including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women) People have always cross dressed, this isn't the same as transgender...confusing eh. Queer had been reclaimed by the community just like othe...

  Eroticism is the exploration of feelings and emotions motivated by sex and sexuality. So not sex itself then.... Its easy to get confused and see being erotic as smutty, taboo, kinky or even unacceptable behaviour of someone in a committed relationship.   How many giggle at the word 'penis' and wouldn't know how to appropriately use handcuffs or god forbid a strap on. Well unbeknownst to many and keep it to yourself but people have sex....its kinda how we got here.... But that's where the difference is, being an erotic sexually powerful human is mostly frowned upon when actually its the best way to a mutually fulfilling sex life.   Thens there time, a quick hows your father or the regular in the dark bunk up after the takeaway on a Saturday night. We all have families, children, careers, gym memberships and homes to maintain.   So start the process slowly, sexting isn't just for the Tinder © generation you know.   Are y...

So through my work with Oxford Friend I volunteered to do a video for the Oxford City Council about why I love volunteering! Weeks of speculation and suspense will finally be over as tomorrow is the beginning of volunteering week..... I haven't seen the video yet I have a feeling I'm not going to like it or how I look or for that matter how i sound either. Videos wil be posted at 10am and 6pm every day this week and I don't find out until tomorrow which slot my video has been given for release. If by the way you fancy a bit of volunteering yourself then try here! Let’s celebrate  #Oxfordvolunteers  for International Volunteer Day  #IVD2016  Give them a hand - consider volunteering!  https://www.oxford.gov.uk/volunteer